I wanted to start off by acknowledging the tragedy that is unfolding in Halifax and Shelburne County right now, I hope those that are able to, can return to their homes as soon as it’s safe, and for those that can’t my thoughts are with you. I had planned to discuss family cottages this month but in light of so many losing their homes I’ve decided to postpone that for now and instead will be talking about financial stress.
It’s not easy to manage your finances right now, high interest rates, stubbornly high inflation, and those are just the broad topics. Financial stressors come from many different directions, be they individual, such as illness or injury, to systemic, like the stock market, and the completely out of your control, like losing a job or being in a car accident. There’s a bunch of different reasons why we find ourselves in difficult financial places in our life and to be blunt, they’re all stressful and not fun to deal with.
Be Kind to Yourself
Let’s take money out of the equation for a second. Any kind of stress is hard to deal with, and the most important thing for you to do is to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge that things are hard, and it’s okay to talk about the issues you face. Financial stress is one of the biggest motivators of poor mental health, and it’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling it. The reality for any kind of financial struggle is it usually isn’t short lived. As much as we may hope that we’re just one paycheque/raise/bonus/windfall away from a positive situation, reality often takes much longer. So while you’re doing the work and figuring out the troubles you may be facing, most importantly be kind to yourself.
It’s Not Always Your Fault
One of the biggest impediments to people standing up and asking for help is a feeling of shame. A lot of people feel tremendous personal responsibility for their finances and feel like they’ve failed somehow when things don’t work out well. At the same time a lot of people apply that lens to others, blaming them for the tough times they’re facing. I can say from experience it’s pretty rare to see someone just absolutely blow their money away. The truth is often more complicated then we’d like to think. One illness, injury and a lot of folks are put in a tough spot. Just because we have socialized medicine doesn’t mean we have socialized recovery and therapies. A major injury can disrupt your income for months if not years. Where I see a lot of financial difficulties sprouting from is a change, of whatever form that might be. People don’t always get it right, and don’t adapt to their new reality fast enough, they take on a little debt, and it spirals from there.
It’s easy enough to get into some trouble, and not being able to ask for help or talk about it doesn’t make it any easier. It’s easy to judge someone else but it’s much harder to empathize, when folks are having a hard time, I can say for certain they could use the empathy.
It’s incredibly important when you do face changes in your life that you do adapt, but it’s hard to get it perfect, and like I said before you’re going to likely be dealing with it for awhile if you’re not spot on, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Financial Stress Impacts your Mental Health
We may not want to think of it this way, but spending a significant amount of time stressed out about your finances isn’t going to have a great impact on your mental health. There’s also a lot of stigma about talking about mental health. So when you combine the most likely stressor, which is a taboo to talk about, with an outcome that is also a taboo to talk about, you get the double whammy discomfort sandwich for lunch, which is not delicious at all. It’s not a particularly enjoyable place to find yourself, and can freeze you into decision paralysis. Financial stress combined with mental health issues, that were caused by the financial stress, can make it nearly impossible to mentally deal with some of the decision you need to take on to make things better.
This is all to say that every part of this is hard, but there’s often a solution of some kind. Being able to talk about it isn’t easy, but it can be helpful. The options you might face may not be great, or they may be much better then you’d ever imagined. I’ve seen many times people fear the absolute worst and things aren’t that bad and it’s very manageable. I’ve also seen many times where people stress about their financial situations and they’re completely fine. No matter the outcome the biggest impediment was the fear of knowing, of confirming the fear. It’s a hard way to live and it makes it even harder to make good decisions for yourself.
If you’re struggling with everything, it’s better to talk about it and deal with it, then to just ignore it. No matter how good or bad it might be.
You’re not alone
Financial stress is the biggest driver of stress. You’re not the only person who feels how you do, the likelihood is many of the people around you feel the same way. No one feeling comfortable talking about this is what makes it feel so isolating and lonely. The truth is that you’re not alone, plenty of people run into issues at some point and have to deal with it. No one has a perfectly straightforward life that never deviated from it’s plan. Life is messy, it doesn’t always work out the way you want it to, and that’s true for everyone. Very likely many of your friends, family, peers, or coworkers are dealing with the same stresses.
No one is alone in their feelings, every situation is unique, but many of the feelings that arise from them are not.
I know there’s a lot of folks facing a tough time across the province right now, I hope this is all resolved as quickly as possible. it’s important to note that it doesn’t take a natural disaster to cause these problems for folks. People can find themselves in financial difficulty for any reason, at any time, and being thoughtful and considerate of others and ourselves is always the best path.
Until next month, be kind!
Laura
Laura Whiteland is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® and Chartered Investment Manager® Professional, she is the owner of Inclusive Financial Planning, a fee-only financial planner. Laura also hosts Stress Free Finance, a podcast dedicated to taking the stress out of personal finance.
This article is intended as general financial information and should not be construed as personalized financial advice.